Ode to Guilty Pleasures

So...this isn't going to actually be an ODE. I'm not a POET, people. I mean, don't get me wrong--I probably COULD be a poetic genius, obviously...but, you know, I don't have time for the kind of fame that would inevitably bring. Anyway, I know you'll all be pleased to know that my light posting activity was brought on by two very important things: A) training for my new job and B) reading edifying nonfiction Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. ...Why, yes, I AM probably a little too old to be reading that, but you know, I'm going to need you all to not be haters, here, okay?

It's true that the writing is a little weak--sort of like high-end fan fiction. I'm pretty sure that the word 'chuckle' appears about 5,000 times in this book. And it's true that some things in it don't really make any sense. Uh, the Cullens' bodies are stone cold all the time? And no one has noticed? Ever? Hasn't anyone in Forks ever brushed up against one of the Cullens and realized they felt like marble statues? And the whole on-again-off-again Edward and Bella wangst fest is kind of tiring. I could go on. AND YET, I've finally decided that I don't really need my hot, glittery vampires to make a lot of SENSE. It's enough that they are superhumanly beautiful and have magical powers, people. Besides, we ALL need some guilty pleasures once in a while.

I mean, this one time in high school, I watched in a SINGLE SITTING, the entire trashtastic 5-hour miniseries Lace (1984) starring Phoebe Cates. The plot goes something like this: Abandoned as a child, Lili Lace first works in a labor camp, eventually prostituting herself on the streets of Paris before becoming a soft-core porn actress and finally transforming herself into a real actress making big money so she can find the three women who might be her long lost mom, gather them all in a room and say, "Which one of you bitches is my mother?" Other highlights of the series include, but are not limited to, blackmailing a school headmaster having a secret affair with his chauffer, possible incest between Lili and someone who could be her half brother, and cinematography involving a Swiss chateau. I mean, I don't even know how you can go wrong with that. LOOK at that promotional picture coupled with my synopsis and TELL me you're not interested in seeing it. No one has to know. It's called Netflix.

...Whatever. I don't believe you, and also, I don't actually appreciate your tone...

ANYWAY, those were a couple of MY guilty pleasure triumphs, so hopefully someone will comment with some of his or her own (and by 'someone' I mean YOU, Recycled Art Girl).