Saturday, August 16, 2008

Ode to Guilty Pleasures

So...this isn't going to actually be an ODE. I'm not a POET, people. I mean, don't get me wrong--I probably COULD be a poetic genius, obviously...but, you know, I don't have time for the kind of fame that would inevitably bring. Anyway, I know you'll all be pleased to know that my light posting activity was brought on by two very important things: A) training for my new job and B) reading edifying nonfiction Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. ...Why, yes, I AM probably a little too old to be reading that, but you know, I'm going to need you all to not be haters, here, okay?

It's true that the writing is a little weak--sort of like high-end fan fiction. I'm pretty sure that the word 'chuckle' appears about 5,000 times in this book. And it's true that some things in it don't really make any sense. Uh, the Cullens' bodies are stone cold all the time? And no one has noticed? Ever? Hasn't anyone in Forks ever brushed up against one of the Cullens and realized they felt like marble statues? And the whole on-again-off-again Edward and Bella wangst fest is kind of tiring. I could go on. AND YET, I've finally decided that I don't really need my hot, glittery vampires to make a lot of SENSE. It's enough that they are superhumanly beautiful and have magical powers, people. Besides, we ALL need some guilty pleasures once in a while.

I mean, this one time in high school, I watched in a SINGLE SITTING, the entire trashtastic 5-hour miniseries Lace (1984) starring Phoebe Cates. The plot goes something like this: Abandoned as a child, Lili Lace first works in a labor camp, eventually prostituting herself on the streets of Paris before becoming a soft-core porn actress and finally transforming herself into a real actress making big money so she can find the three women who might be her long lost mom, gather them all in a room and say, "Which one of you bitches is my mother?" Other highlights of the series include, but are not limited to, blackmailing a school headmaster having a secret affair with his chauffer, possible incest between Lili and someone who could be her half brother, and cinematography involving a Swiss chateau. I mean, I don't even know how you can go wrong with that. LOOK at that promotional picture coupled with my synopsis and TELL me you're not interested in seeing it. No one has to know. It's called Netflix.

...Whatever. I don't believe you, and also, I don't actually appreciate your tone...

ANYWAY, those were a couple of MY guilty pleasure triumphs, so hopefully someone will comment with some of his or her own (and by 'someone' I mean YOU, Recycled Art Girl).

4 comments:

Recycled Art Girl said...

Ha! Thanks for the shout out though I still don't know how I feel about being called out on my guilty pleasures. Here are some of mine, since you ASKED and all...

1. Full house
2. Growing Pains (ah the love the 80s family sit-com...)
3. The CENTER STAGE movie
4. Northern Exposure
5. The HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL soundtrack (hides eyes) comon it's catchy...shut up EMMY
6. Gilmore Girls and LUKE DANES
7. UH, have I told you how many times I've seen some Sex and the City episodes...shameful...
8. EVIL DEAD the Musical and Soundtrack
9. I feel like also, if you parused my iTunes playlists you'd have a host of goodies there...
10. The Wicked Soundtrack
11. HELLO? Saved by the Bell!
12. Newsies, Little Women, and other movies with Christian Bale
13. The Sarah Silverman Show. Completely dumb, and completely politically incorrect, but somehow strangely comforting...

The list can go on and on and on and on, really. I feel like I've shared more than enough now, in fact, EMMY...I feel like you OWE me some more.

And I also feel like I need a blog post on this topic. How many more times can I say "I feel" in this comment? I'm done.

Emmy said...

Um, LOLOLOL. HELL YES to numbers 1, 2, 9, 11, and 12. Right there with ya, babe! Also, I actually LIKE the song Barbie Girl by Aqua. And Newsies? HELLO, I heart Spot Conlon, or whatever his name was.

Emmy said...

Also, you could have just put 'Full House' or something. I mean, you didn't have to have a confessional LIST. I'm just saying...

dingo-yellowdog said...

I have recently discovered the untold joys of young-adult "Doctor Who" novels. :)

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