Remember a couple of months ago when I was crossing a street, and I was hit by a truck? I do. Well, I mean, I remember waking up in ICU afterwards and the doctors telling me right before they wheeled me off for something like the fifth CAT scan of my brain. Anyway, this whole recovery process has been a bit of a journey, and one day I realized I shouldn’t be hoarding all the valuable, character-enhancing lessons about life I’m accumulating. No, indeed—I should share the wealth.
Consider these my postcards to you, sent back from my travels through the wonderful world of convalescence. On one side are pictures of pretty things in exotic locales, and on the other? Pearls of a salonniere’s wisdom.
Today’s gem? Things you shouldn't say to someone who was just hit by a truck (and why):
1) Any variation on: "Guess you'll remember to look both ways before crossing the street next time!"
(You know what? Sometimes you do everything you're supposed to, and you still get hit by a driver who didn't hold up his end of the social contract and follow the traffic rules. So let’s give me a little credit there. And since I almost died, why don’t you hold off and let me make the first joke before assuming it's okay and you can be an ass-clown? Thanks for that.)
2) "You know what? I was in a car accident last week myself! I hit a parked car while driving."
(As much as I appreciate the attempt, I really don't want to bond with anyone over car accidents.)
3) "How did you hurt your feet if you were hit by a car? Are you sure that was from the accident?"
(All I know is, I didn't have any problems with my feet before I woke up in ICU. So unless the paramedics took turns smashing my toes in the ambulance, I'm going to have to believe it IS from the accident.)
4) "Do you feel better today?"
(Um, you do know this isn’t a cold, right? It’s probably going to be a long process before the head injuries get better, so I’ll probably just feel terrible for awhile. But thanks for checking in.)
5) "How did you survive?"
6) "Now you need to remember to live each day to the fullest."
(Thanks—you are SO right! I totally hadn't considered that and really needed the extra outside pressure and guilt. Heaven forbid I just appreciate being alive right now.)