I know, I know, E. I'm the one who is all OMG HUGH LAURIE, and not you so much, so I'll just go ahead and tell whatever major print media outlet that calls for first dibs on what is sure to be the most AMAZING interview EVER (besides our James McAvoy triumph) that this time, it will just be me all alone in a room with Hugh Laurie. You don't even have to take time off work, E, so you can totally relax about all that. I know that you trust me to take this on, and it's exactly the kind of responsibility that I am willing to shoulder for us as a partnership. I also know that you and perhaps some of the readers of this blog may be thinking to yourselves...
...Oh, SORRY. HAHAHAHA. I bet you all think I was having a momentary reverie involving that first picture there just then, but you're WRONG. ANYWAY, as I was SAYING, I know some of you may be thinking to yourselves, But Emmy, how will you, as KIND OF a drooling fangirl, possibly be able to keep it together enough to ask HUGH LAURIE ten whole questions without bursting into tears or passing out or basically making a complete fool of yourself?? And to that, dear readers, I say--HAVE FAITH in the fact that once or twice I thought about majoring in journalism in college, even though my ultimate choice of Latin and Italian was CLEARLY the wiser and more lucrative one. Have FAITH that I am a serious individual who can ask the questions that need to be asked. Have FAITH that I have the fortitude to pull this off without E beside me to steady my nerves. Alright, people, ON to my questions...
**hits PLAY on CD player next to chair and Unchained Melody fills the interview room**
(Uh, the MUSIC is for putting us both AT EASE. Excuse me for trying to be courteous. GEEZ, people.)
1. Am I a million times prettier than Jennifer Morrison, Lisa Edelstein AND Olivia Wilde put together? If the answer is yes, and I think we all know IT IS, would you sign this petition I have drawn up to replace all of these actresses with ME in my unprecedented triple-role television acting debut on House, MD?
2. OKAY, then. Well...I bet Jennifer Morrison, Lisa Edelstein and Olivia Wilde don't know CRAP about LATIN.
3. Would it be possible for me to schedule a House-themed romantic tryst with you, Jesse Spencer and Robert Sean Leonard in the near future? ...Uh, it's called ACTING for a REASON.
4. So, I would really like it if you could show a little more PROFESSIONALISM toward my questions.
5. Would you like to put your head in my lap?
6. Could I put my head in YOUR lap?
7. If I said I were getting a horrible migraine RIGHT THIS SECOND, would you turn the lights down and hold me gently until I felt better?
8. What would you say is the major difference in the color blue of your eyes as compared to say, James McAvoy, and what effect do you think it has on your overall dreaminess?
9. How do you feel about this sterling silver keepsake locket with my picture inside which I lovingly designed and ordered for you off of Snapfish.com?
10. Before you go, would it be possible for you to put your new locket on, look deep into my eyes and come up with some devastatingly dry witticism about how much other women wish they could be as irresistibly attractive as I am?
Oh, I KNOW, E. I know. Don't be jealous about how fantastic this interview is going to be. Too bad you won't be there to experience it firsthand, but you know, you not being as OMG HUGH LAURIE as I am might actually cheapen the whole experience, so maybe it's ultimately a good thing. I mean, if you wanted to singlehandedly interview someone you