Because it totally makes up for these bangs:
Not to mention my overall look in this shot. ...Well, what? What. You didn't really think I was going to let you see my EYES, did you? I mean, you might figure out WHO I REALLY AM--geez, people. Yes, I know--I KNOW it's hard to believe, but that was me, Emmy, one of your two AMAZING Salonnières, delirious with Christmas joy way back in 1987. It just goes to show you what happens When Your Mom Cuts Your Bangs and Accidentally Gives You a Mullet. Let this be a warning to society at large.
Also, I know that the gift item that I am clinging to and presenting as if I were on The Price Is Right is actually just a plastic rod with a ribbon attached to it and may seem to you to be as entertaining as a high end cat toy, but I want you all to know that it was awesome. Hey, don't judge. It came with a tape.